Sebastian

I think of you, and I still want more of you.
You light up the world in which I live, you make me feel alive.
I still want to rest my face on your chest, where I can hear your heart beating to the rythm of your body. I can be myself, just with you, with what I love most. You make me want to scream out your name with joy, and run across the beach in silence. When I'm with you I just want you to hold me and never let go.

Once an open wound. Now a sealed scar.

Relax, breathe. You're safe... Noone can touch you. Noone can see you. What do you want most in this world? I shall give it to you. Everything you want is in my power to get. I can do it. You name it, and I shall search everywhere until I find it. If someone finds it before I do, and presents it to me, I shall tell that person that he should put it back safely where he found it... for it is my duty to find it for you.
Anything you care for, I shall put away in my heart for ever, and never forget it was yours to love, and mine to care for. My concience shall speak to me about you in silence, but I shall never forget you and your charm. You shall love whoever, and I shall seek no more for the answer to my question, "will she ever love me again?"
I shall speak your name in silence as I used to do before, and I shall remind myself of this day for all the years I shall live on my own. I will overcome such bad notice in time, but I will not recover as fast as I plan to.
You are the scent of the roses that come from my garden. You are the energy that spills from inside of me to the outside. You are the walls that protect me from going cold. You are everything to me, and I shall never, never, never forget you.
I believe fairytales can happen, even though years go by, and you can't wait no more. But I will wait patiently, and I will see you again. Everything happens for a reason, and everything is eternal, except for the human body. Energy lasts for ever, and you do, too. I will see you again, in a couple of years.

The woman cried in Heaven, and it rained on Earth. Every teardrop in Heaven is a waterfall on Earth. He shall love her for ever more, and he will never forget the way she loved, the way she spoke, and the way she walked. He shall love, but his love for her shall die first. That way, he shall learn to love once again.

Touii.

He's part of my past now.

I'm alright... It only hurts WHEN I BREATHE.
And what's the opposite of two? A lonely me, and a lonely you.
Somewhere there is someone that dreams of your smile, and finds in it a life that is worthwhile. So, when you're lonely, remember, someone, somewhere is thinking of you.

Whenever you speak, you send shivers all down my spine. I get nervous, and all I want to do, is run away, far away from you. I used to love you, I can't believe it. You are completely another person.

I used to love you.

You.

Usually I pretend to not be interested in you, or to not want to know more about your personal life... But I do, I am interested. I often wonder... What are you thinking about? I would like to know... You seem interesting, and, somehow, sombre, like there's something wrong in your past, something you couldn't manage to unravel. There's something about you which makes me like you even more... You're like a mystery to be solved by me, or someone who doesn't know you completely well... I want you to talk to me about your family, your friends, your life, the people you know, the things that happened to you and the things you regret doing... I want to know everything about you... What are you thinking about? It's my usual question, but I'm not used to asking it out loud; and I'm not used to ask you. What should you know about me, and what shouldn't you? The questions in my head blurr, and they're difficult to open and answer. Is it so difficult? What do you know about me? Do you know my secrets? Do you know something about my childhood? Do you know me? I want to know you, and I want you to know me.

Love surrounds us, but many of us don't exactly know what it is for. Or we don't understand the full meaning of it... Love is powerful, even more powerful than chains that tie you to a stone wall. Love is kind, even more than a baby in a mother's arms. Love is beautiful, even more than a buterfly's wing's colour. Love is a blessing, something a simple hug can show. Love is more than what someone can experience in just a kiss... Love is to care for the otherone. Love is kindness toward someone else. Love is what you feel when you are in the arms of your mother, your father, your sister, or your brother. Love is not just a feeling... It is a part of your body. It is everything, it is everywhere, it is elsewhere. You will find it, and I know it. Love surrounds us, and everywhere we look, there's something or someone who loves us.

Not completely, but ending in light.

I'm not completely happy with what I have in my life. Everything is so different from what I imagined it would be... I have what I wanted some weeks ago, but it changed. Somehow the energy is not as right as I imagined, and anything that happens to me, just changes as it goes by... They change in the wrong sense; and it hurts to think that I want to leave everything behind when it is all perfect. Life is hard... I can already predict the future of this relationship... I'm going to end up breaking it. I can feel that, but I don't want it to end... I want it to go on, to come to life, to bring up what is really inside of it, what can really happen if we open our borders, and explore the outside world of dreams. I know we can go on for much longer, but we just have to open up to the real world, and really be what we are... That way, this relationship will not end, and it will stay in sunshine. Otherwise, it's just going into the land of black clouds and darkness. I love him! But I'm too scared...

I can't build a relationship this way.

No hay nada que me puede molestar más que un tercero en una relación. Alguien que opina qué sería mejor o peor en MI relación. Es mia, y si yo la logré conseguir como soy yo, que la acepten de la forma que es! No quiero que anden juzgando una relación ajena, porque lo único que hacen es hacerle mal, destruirla, acabarla por completo y si no soy capaz de superar eso, es porque no soy lo suficientemente fuerte como para sostenerla de esa manera. Por lo tanto, lo único que hacen, es terminar con algo que no es suyo. Con algo que trae felicidad a algunas personas; algo que nos hace bien. No entiendo por qué es que se meten y empiezan a acotar. Si a él le importa lo que dice el resto, al final YO soy la que NO importa, porque total los OTROS van a estar BIEN y YO voy a estar MAL en MI relación. Qué tiene que ver si a los otros les importa o no que estemos muy juntos? Te tiene que importar a vos lo que hagas en tu relación y NADA más. Que lo que el resto diga te entre por un oído y te salga por el otro! Pero NO, te TIENE que importar. TENEMOS que hacer lo que al resto le parezca porque sino NO quedamos bien! Qué es esto? Una relación de cuántas personas? DOS, o todos!? No disfruto NADA de una relación de esta forma, y me caen las lágrimas al decir que no estoy totalmente contenta de lo que tengo. Creí que iba a ser nada más nuestra, solamente de él y mia! NO DE DIECIOCHO PERSONAS A LA VEZ, solamente porque ellas NO estan en NADA con nadie!!! Sé que puede sonar como si fuera egoísta de mi parte, pero es cierto. Una relación está conformada por DOS personas nada más. No de dos personas, más los amigos, más los externos, mas los que te ACABAN de conocer en UNA RELACIÓN!!
Lo peor es que juzgan mi relación sin siquiera CONOCERME en una. No tienen ni IDEA de cómo soy yo en una relación, y YA PIENSAN que pueden decir lo que sea sobre MI relación!
No estoy nada bien hoy... Y lo peor que me pueden haber dicho es que tengo que intentar ALEJARME de mi novio; nada más porque estamos mucho tiempo juntos. Me terminaron de arruinar el día completamente. Gracias gente FORRA.

Bottom of the Ocean.

When you think everything in your life is perfect, you have an interruption, or a huge problem you cannot resolve. I believe those are knots in your life; but as I said, they're still an interruption. These are knots which are not in your hands to untie. These knots have to untie alone, and we have to let the chips fall where they may. There's a complicated way to view life, and it is the worst way to look at it. And that is the way I view it. Life should be looked at as a beautiful thing, something which you can observe from another point of view and reflex on it, or correct faults it may have.
I am standing on the verge of something uncorrigible. I am trying to scratch it out, but I can't. I can't live this way. It makes me suffer, and it is not good for me. It's complicated to explain it to someone who doesn't exactly know about my life. If you only knew what is going on in my life I could explain my problem to whever you are. The thing is, my life is like entangled wool. It looks like loose cables all forming a puzzle which would actually bring compliaction to whomever sees them. This is not a very good day for me; and I'm having difficulties in my life.
If I only could go back in time, and stop myself. I wish I could.

Lo que la oruga interpreta como el fin del mundo, es lo que su dueño denomina mariposa.

You can chase a butterfly all over the field and never catch it. But if you sit quietly in the grass it will come and sit on your shoulder. 

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. 

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.

We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever. 

In nature a repulsive caterpillar turns into a lovely butterfly. But with humans it is the other way around: a lovely butterfly turns into a repulsive caterpillar. 

Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time.
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty. 

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. "How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

Querida amiga...

Querida Amiga:

Me pediste un consejo, y pensé que, tal vez, yo no sea la mas indicada pero aquí va.... Sé que esa tristeza que te invade en estos momentos es pasajera, aunque en estos momentos sientas que todo se derrumba a tu lado.

Cierra los ojos y piensa un momento que es lo mas importante para ti en estos momentos: la felicidad ajena o la tuya...?

No quiero ser brusca contigo, pero hazme el favor y ya no llores mas. Si te veo llorar, que sea de felicidad.

La vida no es fácil, pero tampoco debes hacer de los momentos difíciles una tragedia. No debes ahogarte en un vaso de agua, porque, al hacerlo, ahogaras tus sueños contigo.

Tienes mil razones para luchar... Elije una sola y comienza a pelear. Yo sé que tú puedes, yo confío en tí.

Si me necesitas, yo estaré ahí, pero que te quede claro, amiga, yo no puedo vivir por tí... Puedo agarrar tu mano para que cuando tropieces no te llegues a caer, pero no puedo agarrar tus pies para que no te tropieces, me entiendes?

Amiga, si te miras al espejo verás una mujer hermosa, con una bella sonrisa, que solo necesita creer en su belleza para resaltarla. Tal vez lo que ves en el espejo ahora no es lo mismo que yo veo. Mírate, sonríete y celebra tu belleza física para que, junto a tu belleza interna, sean tus más poderosas herramientas.

En tu mundo tu eres la reina, la jefa, la mandamás de tu propia vida. No vuelvas a permitir que nadie gobierne en tu reino...

Cuando yo te conocí, no te tragaba... Yo decía: "y ésta que se crée?" Caminabas con la cabeza en alto, llena de lujos y encantos. Con el tiempo nos acercamos, y me di cuenta de que, todo eso que mostrabas, simplemente estaba maquillando tu tristeza. Tú piensas que quien te ama te llevaría a maquillar quien eres...? No mi amor estabas equivocada, y es de humanos equivocarse. El error esta en rendirse ante una equivocación.

Te puedo dar mil consejos... Pero para que éstos te ayuden, debés desnudar tu alma y verte tu misma tal y como eres... Sin mentiras, sin engaños, sin disfraces... Tienes que meditar qué es lo que quieres de tu vida. Solo tú tienes la llave que abre las puertas de la felicidad. Ser feliz no es tener el mejor carro, las mejores ropas, ni tener un marido a tu lado. Ser feliz va más allá de lo material, o lo que puedes obtener por via de otra persona... Cuando aprendas cuáles son tus errores, los aceptes y los corrijas, comenzarás a ser una mejor persona.

Cuando te encuentres a tí misma, te ames, te valores y de tí brote esa energía, entonces serás feliz...

Pero para lograrlo, tendrás que tener paciencia, perseverancia, ganas de luchar todos los días y tendrás que usar tu mejor arma: tu sonrisa. Con esa sonrisa conquistarás el mundo; al amigo y al enemigo porque no habra enemigo que no destruyas cuando vean tu felicidad.

Amiga espero que te sirva de algo lo escrito, aún que mi vida no es lo que la gente normal llama "perfecta". Yo soy una única, que la disfruto y que me acuesto pensando: "a quién alegraré mañana con mi mejor sonrisa puesta?".

Por último amiga, te recuerdo que la vida es una sola, y una vida en el más allá nadie sabe si es cierta. Así que vive la que tienes, porque muchas almas darían lo que fuese por volver a la vida con sus seres vivientes!

Espero que valores mi consejo, ya que salió de mi alma. Quiero que sepas que te valoro muchísimo, y que me alegra haberte conocido al fín.

Tu amiga,

Yo.

Letters between "friends".

"I have been thinking about you. Last night I went to meet you and you weren’t there. I wish I knew why. I felt so foolish. And as I waited, someone else showed up, a man who has made my professional life a misery, and an amazing thing happened – I was able, for the first time in my life, to say the exact thing I wanted to say and said it. And of course, afterwords, I felt terrible. Just as you said I would. I was cruel, and I’m never cruel, and I’m never cruel. And even though I can hardly believe what I said mattered to this man – to him, I’m just a bug to be crushed – but what if it did? No matter what he’s done to me, there’s no excuse for my behavior. Anyway, you are my dear friend, and I so wanted to talk to you. I hope you have a good reason for not being there last night, but if you don’t, and if we never really connect again, I just want to tell you how much it has meant to me to know you were there. 

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Dear friend: I cannot tell you what happened to me last night, but I beg you from the bottom of my heart to forgive me for what happened. I feel terrible that you found yourself in a situation that caused you additional pain. But I’m absolutely sure that whatever you said last night was provoked, even deserved. And everyone says things they regret when they’re worried or stressed. You were expecting to see someone you trusted and met the enemy instead. The fault is mine. Someday, I’ll explain everything. Meanwhile, I’m still here. Talk to me." Meg Ryan & Tom Hanks - You've got mail