The pressure of water

Silence. All I can hear is the silence that surrounds me. The sun above makes everything around me look shiny and somehow strangely familiar. I decide to stay, because I feel comforted by the sensation of the water around my body, tangling in my hair, making my skin cold. I can't breathe, but I know I will be able to resist the feeling. My face is relaxed, my hair making swirls I can't completely understand, my body trembling because of the cold water. I don't want to move, because I know that if I do, I will be pulled out of my favourite place: inside myself, thinking about everything that goes on inside my body, my mind, my own universe. I live in my own place where I know I'm happy, so the reality disappears whenever this presents itself. I don't want or need anything in this moment, I just want to enjoy the feeling of the water flowing into me, letting it enter and place itself between each cell in my body. Taking my energy back and forth and neutralizing it, absorbing every negative charge and pushing it as far from my body as possible. The sun rays make the light of my body and the water around me shine like diamonds, radiating happiness and warm brightness to the world outside. I can feel the pressure rise as I sink even more, into the depths of the water, risking everything in my body to dilate and get swallowed in the darkness beneath me. I'm getting away from the light of the sun, but every second I feel happier, because the silence is greater as I get away from the thin surface, where I know I might get tender and give in to the need of air. I can hear the music playing in my head, the wonders and colors that each sound produces before my eyes. I look up, and verify that I can still feel what I am. Now I know who I am as well. The need to burst to the surface to reality again is annoying, but I'm still happy I had that moment of brilliant and obscure silence in my head and in front of my eyes. I use the last gush of air inside my lungs to enjoy a laugh where I can feel and hear my own heart beating. Now I listen. Nothing to hear but the mumble of words turning in circles inside my head. The silence around me makes me close my eyes, as I let my body float to the surface slowly. My hair tangles in front of my face, and the top of my head enjoys the last centimetres of water which separate it from reality and the air. I push slowly out of the water, letting air gush out of and into my lungs. I'm out of myself, naked, stripped to the bone, open to everything, and into reality, to face the rest of my life. Another breath of air, which makes me pull myself together and gather strength to confront what had been, before, laid in front of me. I close my eyes again, and give my first step into my new life.